Why does my wife talk in 'gift' code?
I cannot be the only guy on the planet who thinks that his wife talks in 'shopping' code when it comes to getting her a gift for the holidays. I get clues all year long and sometimes they don't even seem like a 'hint' at all. In some cases, they get so confusing that I'm not sure if I'm getting a clue to buy, or the clue what not to buy. What's wrong with 'hit-me-over-the head' obvious?
It's stressful playing these guessing games. At least it's like 'guessing' for me. Wife, on the other hand, thinks she is being informative and suggestive. Hey, I'm a guy and what you need to do is spell it out in big letters ... D ... I ... A ... M ... O ... N ... D ... S! At least I'd know what I'm up against. But, ohhhhh nooooo, that would take all the fun out of it for her, she has told me. You know where this is going. Fun for her, torture for me.
Personally, I think this is a form of the "I Spy" game and you're playing with a clever person who will pick a color that has more than one answer. (Don't even pretend to have that shocked, "who-me?" look. Or, the indignant response, "I've never ever thought of that!")
I need all the help I can get. It took me two anniversaries to figure out that buying an appliance was not the type of 'personal' gift honey bunches had in mind.
Women: if you're reading this (there has already been an "Amen" from the guys), please give us a break in 2010 and tell us early what you want. This is especially important if you are trying to buy gifts on a budget. It's a little easier saving for bigger ticket items when you have longer to prepare; besides, in my hallway,"if 'mama ain't happy, then nobody is happy'"means just that.
It's Tuesday, so be straight with some thoughts on how to get around this dilemma for the upcoming gift giving season. Talk tough with Troy and give "decoder boy" some help! (Since I don't know the puzzle, I'll have to spin again.)
Comments
Flip it around. You think women would know how our minds work. When they ask us what we want for Christmas or whatever we usually provide so much detail that it would be impossible to get it wrong. For example, "I want a Craftsman 10" compound miter saw with dust collection, laser guide, 36" extendable support arms, and retractable legs. Here's the catalog, I've circled it. It's on sale this week."
If that's what we provide, that's what we expect. Why would you assume differently?
Yes, we know that if we can figure out what you want without you telling us, then it means that we really KNOW you and that's the real gift. See I understand, I just hate the effort.
Posted by: hi_c | 11/03/2009 at 01:47 PM
Troy,
I know what you mean gift giving is difficult when you are trying to buy for someone who isn't lending any secrets! My fiance and I always give each other a list of items that we really want for Birthdays, Christmas, or any other holiday that involves gift giving! It may take the fun out of opening, but at least you get what you want and there are no disappointed faces. Not only do I tell him what I would like, but I also tell him know what I hate/don't want... I gave him a little hint (I HATE FLOWERS)! I actually told him to NEVER buy me flowers, becaue I think they are a waste of money. We have been together almost 6 years and to this day the only time he bought me flowers was on our first date!
Sometimes it pays to be direct!
Posted by: Stephanie | 11/03/2009 at 01:55 PM
I don't know..I always like for someone to give me something that they want me to have..
not necessarily something that I want..
sometimes, if someone is left to their own devices, you may end up with a gift that is unexpectedly awesome.
Like..when a friend gave me hand made moccasins..
or a mr. bean bobble head. I didn't request them..
probably never would have,but i love them.
Then again, maybe I'm just easy to please..
i would be just as happy with a gravity waffle maker as i would with a diamond necklace. Maybe more so..because waffles are more fun than a necklace.
Posted by: Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar | 11/03/2009 at 03:20 PM
Well not too sure about the diamond necklace being less fun but I know a waffle will taste better! :)
Posted by: Boo Master | 11/03/2009 at 03:52 PM
You HAVE to know that we are waiting for Wife to read this blog and post the solution to Troy's dilemma! I like what hi_c wrote about the catalog but let's face it, some people just don't get it. Just go shopping together and buy for family and friends...enjoy the happiness your gifts will bring to them and that will be the best gift you can give to each other.
Posted by: Lucy | 11/04/2009 at 04:30 PM
There was just something about that Christmas morning when all the gifts were opened and there was a little something still in the bottom of my stocking! My honey had been listening (I had not thrown out a hint since say September) and there was the necklace I wanted...
I know he loves me - and I really don't "want" for anything - but there is something about him picking up the hints (and me tossing them out) it is just so fun I can't stop!
Posted by: Kate | 11/05/2009 at 07:44 AM
Kate,
We as men understand that the real gift is when we pick-up on your hints and get your gift with little to no help. Then it means that we listen and care about what you say and all that warm fuzzy stuff. And the same is true for us when you buy us the gift we wanted but didn't tell you (ask our buddies...they know what to get me.) But we have the attention span of a gnat!
So here's what I've done to help with the hint dropping. When I hear the wife drop a hint (in September or even July!) I go to the other aisle and call my work deskphone, then leave a message for myself. Big help.
Posted by: hi_c | 11/05/2009 at 08:32 AM
You need to do what my sister & brother-in-law have done. A few years back, he took her to their favorite local jewelry store and he told her to pick out items in a range of prices and make a "wish list" which is kept at the store. She goes by from time to time and adds to it. So when he is stumped for a gift, he drops by and gets something off of her list. The surprise for her is that she doesn't know what he will choose from her list or if he will think of something on his own. Needless to say, she has alot of jewelry now...LOL
Posted by: Barbara | 11/09/2009 at 04:37 PM
I was blessed with the ability to play the piano and guitar and write poetry. And I can say that from my experience that many of them appreciate a gift that comes from the heart that doesn't cost a thing. That doesn't mean that I won't get her a gift like jewelry, clothes, etc. But from my personal experience most women appreciate a gift from the heart.
Posted by: Jeff Mills | 11/20/2009 at 12:02 PM